Student and Teacher

TEACHER : Why are you late?
NOOB STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
NOOB STUDENT: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
NOOB STUDENT: You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
NOOB STUDENT:
'K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
NOOB STUDENT: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
NOOB STUDENT: 'HIJKLMNO! '!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
NOOB STUDENT: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, go to the map and find North America.
NOOB STUDENT: Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : NOOB STUDENT!
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
NOOB STUDENT: Me!
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, why do you always get so dirty?
NOOB STUDENT: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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NOOB STUDENT: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
NOOB STUDENT : Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER : How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
NOOB STUDENT : Don't bite any.
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
NOOB STUDENT : I is...
TEACHER : No, NOOB STUDENT. Always say, 'I am.'
NOOB STUDENT : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER : 'Can anybody give an example of 'COINCIDENCE?'
NOOB STUDENT :
'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.'
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TEACHER : 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?'
NOOB STUDENT : 'Because George still had the axe in his hand?'
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NOOB STUDENT : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
NOOB STUDENT : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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TEACHER : Wh! at a pair of strange socks you arewearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
NOOB STUDENT : Yes it's really
strange. I've got another pair just like that
at home.
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TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating adonkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
NOOB STUDENT : Brotherly love?
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TEACHER : Now, NOOB STUDENT, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
NOOB STUDENT : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : NOOB STUDENT, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Di! d you copy his?
NOOB STUDENT : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
NOOB STUDENT : A teacher



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