Just For Laughs

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that
the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.
Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have
18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Carolyn agreed and
again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight
hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said,
"Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then
afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and
turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the
shoulder to wake her up.
"Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?" His wife sat up
abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm not being funny....
but I have to get up in the morning and you don't."

-----------------------------------

A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multi-colored
hair that's green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of
rags, his legs are bare and he's without shoes. His face and ears are
riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who
just glares at him for about ten miles. Finally the punk gets self
conscious and spits at the old man: "What 'er you starin' at you old fart,
didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?!"
Without missing a beat the old man replies: "Yeah. Back when I was in the
Navy I got real drunk in Singapore and screwed a parrot. I thought maybe
you was my son."

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